One should never strike another person more than once no matter how angry one is…..unless they are believably method-singing Britney Spears’ first hit
Hola
peeps.
Too late to wish y’all a happy new year? It’s my second week back in Juba after 2-week Xmas break in Lagos. Learnt from last break in Lagos so this time I wasn’t a bum and did some actual exercise. Discovered a colleague in Lagos office’s training for a Kilimanjaro hike so joined him on a walk. Good thing’s he stays not far from my Lagos crib. The first time we walked 16km and while he took a cab home I chose to run back, but could only manage that for 15km before I quit and struggled pell-mell the remaining 1km home. The heat was intense and had never felt that tired in my life, probably cos 31km is longest distance I have covered without stopping for a breather. Well, I did halt run to help some guy push his vehicle off the road, so there’s that. Anyhoo, by the time I got home I was spent. Cracked open the fridge and finished a full bottle of sparkling grape juice in one gulp, then struggled to take clothes off, put on swim trunks and swam in the house pool I haven’t used in over 5 years. Afterwards, drank a bottle of Coke, then a 1.5-liter bottle of water, then dried to sleep. No dice. The next time – this was on New Year’s Day – we took a more circuitous route walking 18km and I ran all the 16km back home this time. Wasn’t as tired as the first time even though the distance was longer. Though as I pushed open the gate to the compound, I laid down on security guard’s wooden bench for about 5 minutes while wondering why I put myself through such rigorous training. I proceeded to consume 1.8 liters of soda and 1.5 liters of water in 1 hour upon getting into the apartment and napping again was unsuccessful. Instead, I completed the Watchmen series and waited until date showed up for the Ali Baba January 1st show.
Over the following days all seemed well with the world and was chuffed at myself for the long runs I accomplished and considered them somewhat ample preparation for my first marathon in April. On January 3rd, while leaving the office with my brother Jide – more on that later – I noticed right foot hurt so much I started limping. The next day I couldn’t set down weight on it and had to limp on ball of right foot as heel touching the ground set off excruciating pain. As I was travelling back to Juba that day it musta been a sight tottering my way from check-in counter to the departure lounge. I was so uncomfortable for the first time in my life I sought out those spots at the airport that offer massages. If you ever wondered what sorta folk patronize those places with eye-gouging prices, you are reading from one. By the way the massage didn’t help one bit.
Spent the night in Nairobi and soon as I got to Juba on the 5th I went to the clinic directly from the airport. Doctor couldn’t tell what the issue was but was sure it wasn’t a fracture, so blood taken to check for accumulation of uric acid and was given 2 injections and sent home with a balm to apply on the troubled foot. Had minor relief that day but couldn’t go to the office the next day due to the pain. Tried to cope with it for the rest of the week but with no respite in sight I returned to the hospital last week Friday and requested an x-ray. It confirmed what doctor had initially said so was given another injection and this time was dispatched home with tablets. It’s nearly a week since that doctor’s visit and foot doesn’t hurt as much, though I intend to sit out exercises over the weekend and try for a mild run on Monday, only if foot feels significantly better.
A bummer start to the year I know but the frustrating thang is neither the doctor nor I knows what coulda triggered the pain. It’s never occurred in all my years of running. Was so tired after the runs in Lagos I forgot to stretch, could that have been the reason? Was it insole supports, if so, should I be running without insole supports? Was it cos I ran on tarmac? Could it be due to keeping up with colleague’s fast walking pace before my runs? I am racking my brain ‘cos I need to get back to training for Paris marathon on April 5th cos colleagues I am going to Paris with are posting daily workouts while I look on enviously. That’s it, come Monday morning I’m gonna run with ankle supports and insoles in sneakers to see if it helps. No, gonna do that Monday evening after work. Need to restart HIIT after almost a month without.
Woah, I’ve spent 4 paragraphs moaning about my foot. Sincere apologies. How y’all been? Although I spent 2 weeks in Lagos it flew by so fast and I am already set to leave for the UK next week, so travel schedule this year is continuing from where I left offin 2019 last decade. Yup, I got current 64-page
passport in May 2018 and gonna need to apply for another before middle of this
year ‘cos pages are almost filled. My December was insane, man. I did
Juba-Nairobi-Mombasa-Nairobi-Maputo-Nairobi-Juba in first week of December,
then Juba-Nairobi-Juba the next week, then Juba-Nairobi-Lagos the third week.
The trip to Maputo was for work and flew there directly from a weekend getaway
in Mombasa as had promised someone a trip there and was fulfilling my end of
the bargain. Booked this hotel with a view of the ocean that was amazing. Woke
up first day there with sound of ocean in ears and felt so calm I almost
cancelled debts of everyone that owes me money…..almost. Man, if everyone lived
in such an environment there would be no more wars. US-Iran talks need to be
held in Mombasa for sure.
Hotel had similar bidet setup to one in Juba apartment so felt like home. The company was good and only downside was getting sunburnt for first time in my life after a long ass walk on the beach. Had a heart-to-heart with chick of why I no longer like her like I used to. I was honest but not too honest, and surprisingly, she admitted to some things she had done. So she knew what she was doing all along?! Women are such strange creatures. She tried to make me change my mind and told her we could still be mates but one can’t flick feelings off and on like a switch. Though I saved the “we gotta end nookie” conversation for last, this punk still invited her to join him in Nairobi the following weekend for a mate’s wedding. Man, you see what I was saying about Mombasa, it makes one make strange decisions. I’ll be honest, I left Mombasa thinking, “hmmm, maybe all the stuff she did on purpose ain’t as bad as I thought”. Spent flight to Maputo and time there trying to find a way to rescind the invitation to Nairobi.
The weekend in Nairobi wasn’t bad either and I’ll admit I’m glad I invited her ‘cos her company was excellent again. Helped that she was around ‘cos there’s late and there’s South Sudanese wedding in Nairobi late. She arrived from Kampala on Friday December 13th and we went out on the town. Got back in about 4am and had to wake up at 730am for a breakfast meeting. Hurriedly wrapped up meeting and got to church venue of wedding at 1115am though wedding was supposed to commence at 1030. This is where earlier statement on lateness comes in: the service did not start until 130pm! By this time I had gone to a nearby mall to get something to eat cos was starving though date decided to stay behind cos she “loves all things weddings and have to see the bride walk down the aisle”. Okay then. I showed up about 30 mins before the service wrapped up with the chocolate milkshake she requested and what did I see? Some dude was seated next to her and it was obvious they were having a good time. And I know the dude to boot. As I walked to the pew and sidled next to her the dude got up, said hi to me and as he walked away I saw they had a somewhat awkward handshake/handhold that I recognized all too well from my experience of stepping to other peeps’ women. Something remarkable happened that I can only attribute to the Mombasa bug: I felta tad jealous. As I handed her the milkshake I kept
trying to reconcile these feelings I had. Hey dude, you are no longer
interested in her, right? So what if some other dude wants to get with her,
what’s your beef? Yeah, she’s fine and that’s why you were attracted to her in
the first place. Do you think other guys don’t have eyes? I wrestled with
these thoughts as the couple finally exchanged their vows and walked outta the
church with the bridal train. I laugh when I think about it now but just 3
weeks prior to this when I was in Kampala for US visa interview I actively made it clear
to her I was no longer keen to be anything but platonic; so much so that when she
suggested we go back to my hotel after a music concert I declined de haut en
bas. Emotions are Okafor's theory is a trip, huh?
The wedding reception was supposed to kick-off at 6pm but I was wiser now, I didn’t get there until 1030pm…..and that’s when the couple just danced in! Man, these folk have no chill. Unlike Nigerian events, food and drinks had already been served and so man ended up hungry again. If that wasn’t bad enough, instead of dancing and moving on like typical Nigerian events the long East African speeches started so stayed for an hour before deciding to leave. Before then, same dude from church passed by and I saw date light up. This time the Mombasa bug was no longer as strong, and I actively considered ways of excusing self to allow them formally hook up. I suggested going to grab her something from outside like earlier in the day, but she decided to tag along. Bummer.
This story’s a perfect segue to my current situation. You know girl in Nigeria (who wants to get married and have kids) that I requested time off from back in October? Well, I think one of the reasons I backed away, apart from the kid thang obviously, is I’d to be sure to end nookie links with anyone before I consider anything serious. Last thang I’d wanna do is cheat on anyone I am with with. Must say though, maybe it’s workload or access to random nookie or both, but remarriage cravings ceased after I returned to Juba in October. Returned to Naija for Xmas and even with increased workload – was in the office most days – and access to nookie and walking/running a total of 65km, remarriage cravings cropped up again for her. Uh oh.
Last time I went through the socializing-courting-assignation-marriage (S-C-A-M) process I kept y’all outta the loop cos wanted to surprise y’all and we all know how that panned out. So now I am taking a different tact. I am gonna be open as much as I can - while respecting the other party’s privacy - and lay all my insecurities out here in the hope that I can go over these writings in the future to sorta gauge level of maturity and progress or what I was thinking at a particular point in the SCAM process. It’s weird that on the eve of departure to Juba both Chief and Jide came by my office and our separate discussions ended up revolving around relationships.
Chief had come by to catch up as I could only make it to Beachland once during the Xmas break due to work and time spent with lady of interest. Still thinking of perfect nom de plume for her. I had planned to give him a piece of my mind regarding some areas where I thought he was taking the piss but first he requested to see progress of apartment I am acquiring in Lagos. After we returned to the office, we talked about work and the usual stuff. He then went on about frustrations with mom and stepmoms, but mostly mom. He ended his diatribe with something along the lines of, “Normally, I save this for Nike cos she has her way of getting through to your mom, but this has been going on for a while now. I am sorry to bring this up with you cos I keep encouraging you to give marriage another try and I don’t want to discourage you, but I need you to talk to your mom. There’s no perfect woman out there and if I have been able to manage 3 women so far you can manage one…..”
I thanked him and said, “I apologize for what mom said and her actions but I won’t talk to her. I decided a few years ago to leave her to her own devices cos anytime I offer advise her usual line is, That’s the old Vicky. The new Vicky has changed and won’t do that again…but then she does the same thang after a few days or weeks. So feel free to tell Nike and my uncle what you just told me and ask them to talk to her. You can even choose to tell them my response, but I refuse to talk to her.” Woah, I am fancying this new, more open Tunde. Let the floodgates open…
As I have mentioned to y’all before, my mom can be the nicest person in the world but she’s STRESSSSS. Dunno if I ever told y’all this but one of the reasons I actively avoided dating Ibo girls is I didn’t wanna risk ending up with someone like my mom. Her worst traits end up nullifying whatever good she does, sadly. God does have a sense of humour ‘cos ex-wife ended up being like my mom. I am sure they would both hate to admit they are alike but never met any other folk who love being center of attention, hold grudges like their lives depend on it and spew words outta their mouths that makes the subject of their tirade wonder if they ever had a modicum of love for him/her. Don’t get me wrong, I am partly the person I am due to discipline instilled in me by my mom and ex’s a great mother to our daughter as evinced by her being a well-rounded happy child and excelling in school. However, I marvel every day at how Chief survived with mom this long, let alone having 2 other wives. Guess they don’t make men like they used to.
Few hours after Chief left Jide showed up and we discussed business, Chief’s annoying issues and our frustrations with (in)actions of certain siblings. As he sorta knows chick (I’m still trying to find the right nom de plume for), talk eventually leads there so I inform him I am meeting her for dinner later and requested he join us. “Woah, won’t my tagging along convey you are taking her seriously?”, he asked. I shrug my shoulders. “You know her mom knows Chief and if they both get wind that y’all are dating they can put pressure and…..” We both agree I don’t succumb to pressure but it may prove difficult for the chick, and for the first time since my marriage ended I offer up myself to any and all questions from a member of the family.
I agree, and all my siblings will concur, that I tend to keep myself to myself. I honestly cannot say I am truly close to any of my siblings and that’s sorta a shame when it comes to matters of the heart cos after my conversation with Jide I could tell family had had discussions amongst themselves in various fora about what happened in marriage, but no one knew how to offer help or even how best to approach me. This time I told him all stuff I had hidden from parents to avoid hurting them or jeopardizing relationship with ex in the future. We agreed our family can be a lot and that’s why it’s our job to protect and advise our partners on how to interact with them. Even at that, he expressed challenges with his marriage, in-laws, etc. and we both concluded that marriage truly is a scam but one’s gotta find ways of surviving it. Instead of hugs or I love yous like women do, like the real mean that we are we punched each other in the chest and cracked jokes about each other’s machismo (or lack thereof).
So here I am 2 weeks later and though I initially worried about distance and other stuff I can’t control I have decided to give it a go with chick (I hope to craft a nickname for before next blog entry). The other day after morning prayer I kept wondering what’s so different now? Why am I choosing to consider a relationship (that could lead to marriage) with her and not any of the women I have liked over the years? There are ex-gfs I loved at some point that are still single, why not them? She insists she still wants kids and here I am willing to consider it even though it was anathema a few weeks ago and they were women who already had kids or others who were happy not to have any, and yet I didn’t consider them? If distance was an issue I’da considered someone in Juba or Kenya or Uganda; if it was strictly based on looks or intellect then forgetaboutit there’s a surfeit of options; so why now, why her? It never occurred to me to tell Jide this but I remember after a close mate said she was getting married and asked for advice I told her if there’s anything I wish I had learnt before marriage it is, “Don’t sweat the small stuff…and everything is the small stuff. I am not saying you’d allow your husband walk all over you but not everything is what fussing about…..pick your battles.” She’s still married and appears happily so, so maybe I’d embrace a similar mantra by not worrying too much why I feel the way I feel now. All in all, if this feeling has led to this new, more expressive Tunde then it can’t be all that bad. Either way, it’ll prove a great read in the future.
Tot ziens and God bless.
Too late to wish y’all a happy new year? It’s my second week back in Juba after 2-week Xmas break in Lagos. Learnt from last break in Lagos so this time I wasn’t a bum and did some actual exercise. Discovered a colleague in Lagos office’s training for a Kilimanjaro hike so joined him on a walk. Good thing’s he stays not far from my Lagos crib. The first time we walked 16km and while he took a cab home I chose to run back, but could only manage that for 15km before I quit and struggled pell-mell the remaining 1km home. The heat was intense and had never felt that tired in my life, probably cos 31km is longest distance I have covered without stopping for a breather. Well, I did halt run to help some guy push his vehicle off the road, so there’s that. Anyhoo, by the time I got home I was spent. Cracked open the fridge and finished a full bottle of sparkling grape juice in one gulp, then struggled to take clothes off, put on swim trunks and swam in the house pool I haven’t used in over 5 years. Afterwards, drank a bottle of Coke, then a 1.5-liter bottle of water, then dried to sleep. No dice. The next time – this was on New Year’s Day – we took a more circuitous route walking 18km and I ran all the 16km back home this time. Wasn’t as tired as the first time even though the distance was longer. Though as I pushed open the gate to the compound, I laid down on security guard’s wooden bench for about 5 minutes while wondering why I put myself through such rigorous training. I proceeded to consume 1.8 liters of soda and 1.5 liters of water in 1 hour upon getting into the apartment and napping again was unsuccessful. Instead, I completed the Watchmen series and waited until date showed up for the Ali Baba January 1st show.
Over the following days all seemed well with the world and was chuffed at myself for the long runs I accomplished and considered them somewhat ample preparation for my first marathon in April. On January 3rd, while leaving the office with my brother Jide – more on that later – I noticed right foot hurt so much I started limping. The next day I couldn’t set down weight on it and had to limp on ball of right foot as heel touching the ground set off excruciating pain. As I was travelling back to Juba that day it musta been a sight tottering my way from check-in counter to the departure lounge. I was so uncomfortable for the first time in my life I sought out those spots at the airport that offer massages. If you ever wondered what sorta folk patronize those places with eye-gouging prices, you are reading from one. By the way the massage didn’t help one bit.
Spent the night in Nairobi and soon as I got to Juba on the 5th I went to the clinic directly from the airport. Doctor couldn’t tell what the issue was but was sure it wasn’t a fracture, so blood taken to check for accumulation of uric acid and was given 2 injections and sent home with a balm to apply on the troubled foot. Had minor relief that day but couldn’t go to the office the next day due to the pain. Tried to cope with it for the rest of the week but with no respite in sight I returned to the hospital last week Friday and requested an x-ray. It confirmed what doctor had initially said so was given another injection and this time was dispatched home with tablets. It’s nearly a week since that doctor’s visit and foot doesn’t hurt as much, though I intend to sit out exercises over the weekend and try for a mild run on Monday, only if foot feels significantly better.
A bummer start to the year I know but the frustrating thang is neither the doctor nor I knows what coulda triggered the pain. It’s never occurred in all my years of running. Was so tired after the runs in Lagos I forgot to stretch, could that have been the reason? Was it insole supports, if so, should I be running without insole supports? Was it cos I ran on tarmac? Could it be due to keeping up with colleague’s fast walking pace before my runs? I am racking my brain ‘cos I need to get back to training for Paris marathon on April 5th cos colleagues I am going to Paris with are posting daily workouts while I look on enviously. That’s it, come Monday morning I’m gonna run with ankle supports and insoles in sneakers to see if it helps. No, gonna do that Monday evening after work. Need to restart HIIT after almost a month without.
Woah, I’ve spent 4 paragraphs moaning about my foot. Sincere apologies. How y’all been? Although I spent 2 weeks in Lagos it flew by so fast and I am already set to leave for the UK next week, so travel schedule this year is continuing from where I left off
Hotel had similar bidet setup to one in Juba apartment so felt like home. The company was good and only downside was getting sunburnt for first time in my life after a long ass walk on the beach. Had a heart-to-heart with chick of why I no longer like her like I used to. I was honest but not too honest, and surprisingly, she admitted to some things she had done. So she knew what she was doing all along?! Women are such strange creatures. She tried to make me change my mind and told her we could still be mates but one can’t flick feelings off and on like a switch. Though I saved the “we gotta end nookie” conversation for last, this punk still invited her to join him in Nairobi the following weekend for a mate’s wedding. Man, you see what I was saying about Mombasa, it makes one make strange decisions. I’ll be honest, I left Mombasa thinking, “hmmm, maybe all the stuff she did on purpose ain’t as bad as I thought”. Spent flight to Maputo and time there trying to find a way to rescind the invitation to Nairobi.
The weekend in Nairobi wasn’t bad either and I’ll admit I’m glad I invited her ‘cos her company was excellent again. Helped that she was around ‘cos there’s late and there’s South Sudanese wedding in Nairobi late. She arrived from Kampala on Friday December 13th and we went out on the town. Got back in about 4am and had to wake up at 730am for a breakfast meeting. Hurriedly wrapped up meeting and got to church venue of wedding at 1115am though wedding was supposed to commence at 1030. This is where earlier statement on lateness comes in: the service did not start until 130pm! By this time I had gone to a nearby mall to get something to eat cos was starving though date decided to stay behind cos she “loves all things weddings and have to see the bride walk down the aisle”. Okay then. I showed up about 30 mins before the service wrapped up with the chocolate milkshake she requested and what did I see? Some dude was seated next to her and it was obvious they were having a good time. And I know the dude to boot. As I walked to the pew and sidled next to her the dude got up, said hi to me and as he walked away I saw they had a somewhat awkward handshake/handhold that I recognized all too well from my experience of stepping to other peeps’ women. Something remarkable happened that I can only attribute to the Mombasa bug: I felt
The wedding reception was supposed to kick-off at 6pm but I was wiser now, I didn’t get there until 1030pm…..and that’s when the couple just danced in! Man, these folk have no chill. Unlike Nigerian events, food and drinks had already been served and so man ended up hungry again. If that wasn’t bad enough, instead of dancing and moving on like typical Nigerian events the long East African speeches started so stayed for an hour before deciding to leave. Before then, same dude from church passed by and I saw date light up. This time the Mombasa bug was no longer as strong, and I actively considered ways of excusing self to allow them formally hook up. I suggested going to grab her something from outside like earlier in the day, but she decided to tag along. Bummer.
This story’s a perfect segue to my current situation. You know girl in Nigeria (who wants to get married and have kids) that I requested time off from back in October? Well, I think one of the reasons I backed away, apart from the kid thang obviously, is I’d to be sure to end nookie links with anyone before I consider anything serious. Last thang I’d wanna do is cheat on anyone I am with with. Must say though, maybe it’s workload or access to random nookie or both, but remarriage cravings ceased after I returned to Juba in October. Returned to Naija for Xmas and even with increased workload – was in the office most days – and access to nookie and walking/running a total of 65km, remarriage cravings cropped up again for her. Uh oh.
Last time I went through the socializing-courting-assignation-marriage (S-C-A-M) process I kept y’all outta the loop cos wanted to surprise y’all and we all know how that panned out. So now I am taking a different tact. I am gonna be open as much as I can - while respecting the other party’s privacy - and lay all my insecurities out here in the hope that I can go over these writings in the future to sorta gauge level of maturity and progress or what I was thinking at a particular point in the SCAM process. It’s weird that on the eve of departure to Juba both Chief and Jide came by my office and our separate discussions ended up revolving around relationships.
Chief had come by to catch up as I could only make it to Beachland once during the Xmas break due to work and time spent with lady of interest. Still thinking of perfect nom de plume for her. I had planned to give him a piece of my mind regarding some areas where I thought he was taking the piss but first he requested to see progress of apartment I am acquiring in Lagos. After we returned to the office, we talked about work and the usual stuff. He then went on about frustrations with mom and stepmoms, but mostly mom. He ended his diatribe with something along the lines of, “Normally, I save this for Nike cos she has her way of getting through to your mom, but this has been going on for a while now. I am sorry to bring this up with you cos I keep encouraging you to give marriage another try and I don’t want to discourage you, but I need you to talk to your mom. There’s no perfect woman out there and if I have been able to manage 3 women so far you can manage one…..”
I thanked him and said, “I apologize for what mom said and her actions but I won’t talk to her. I decided a few years ago to leave her to her own devices cos anytime I offer advise her usual line is, That’s the old Vicky. The new Vicky has changed and won’t do that again…but then she does the same thang after a few days or weeks. So feel free to tell Nike and my uncle what you just told me and ask them to talk to her. You can even choose to tell them my response, but I refuse to talk to her.” Woah, I am fancying this new, more open Tunde. Let the floodgates open…
As I have mentioned to y’all before, my mom can be the nicest person in the world but she’s STRESSSSS. Dunno if I ever told y’all this but one of the reasons I actively avoided dating Ibo girls is I didn’t wanna risk ending up with someone like my mom. Her worst traits end up nullifying whatever good she does, sadly. God does have a sense of humour ‘cos ex-wife ended up being like my mom. I am sure they would both hate to admit they are alike but never met any other folk who love being center of attention, hold grudges like their lives depend on it and spew words outta their mouths that makes the subject of their tirade wonder if they ever had a modicum of love for him/her. Don’t get me wrong, I am partly the person I am due to discipline instilled in me by my mom and ex’s a great mother to our daughter as evinced by her being a well-rounded happy child and excelling in school. However, I marvel every day at how Chief survived with mom this long, let alone having 2 other wives. Guess they don’t make men like they used to.
Few hours after Chief left Jide showed up and we discussed business, Chief’s annoying issues and our frustrations with (in)actions of certain siblings. As he sorta knows chick (I’m still trying to find the right nom de plume for), talk eventually leads there so I inform him I am meeting her for dinner later and requested he join us. “Woah, won’t my tagging along convey you are taking her seriously?”, he asked. I shrug my shoulders. “You know her mom knows Chief and if they both get wind that y’all are dating they can put pressure and…..” We both agree I don’t succumb to pressure but it may prove difficult for the chick, and for the first time since my marriage ended I offer up myself to any and all questions from a member of the family.
I agree, and all my siblings will concur, that I tend to keep myself to myself. I honestly cannot say I am truly close to any of my siblings and that’s sorta a shame when it comes to matters of the heart cos after my conversation with Jide I could tell family had had discussions amongst themselves in various fora about what happened in marriage, but no one knew how to offer help or even how best to approach me. This time I told him all stuff I had hidden from parents to avoid hurting them or jeopardizing relationship with ex in the future. We agreed our family can be a lot and that’s why it’s our job to protect and advise our partners on how to interact with them. Even at that, he expressed challenges with his marriage, in-laws, etc. and we both concluded that marriage truly is a scam but one’s gotta find ways of surviving it. Instead of hugs or I love yous like women do, like the real mean that we are we punched each other in the chest and cracked jokes about each other’s machismo (or lack thereof).
So here I am 2 weeks later and though I initially worried about distance and other stuff I can’t control I have decided to give it a go with chick (I hope to craft a nickname for before next blog entry). The other day after morning prayer I kept wondering what’s so different now? Why am I choosing to consider a relationship (that could lead to marriage) with her and not any of the women I have liked over the years? There are ex-gfs I loved at some point that are still single, why not them? She insists she still wants kids and here I am willing to consider it even though it was anathema a few weeks ago and they were women who already had kids or others who were happy not to have any, and yet I didn’t consider them? If distance was an issue I’da considered someone in Juba or Kenya or Uganda; if it was strictly based on looks or intellect then forgetaboutit there’s a surfeit of options; so why now, why her? It never occurred to me to tell Jide this but I remember after a close mate said she was getting married and asked for advice I told her if there’s anything I wish I had learnt before marriage it is, “Don’t sweat the small stuff…and everything is the small stuff. I am not saying you’d allow your husband walk all over you but not everything is what fussing about…..pick your battles.” She’s still married and appears happily so, so maybe I’d embrace a similar mantra by not worrying too much why I feel the way I feel now. All in all, if this feeling has led to this new, more expressive Tunde then it can’t be all that bad. Either way, it’ll prove a great read in the future.
Tot ziens and God bless.
