Off the friggin' ying yang

FYI: This blog was written yesterday (Thursday June 24th 2004), but couldn't publish it on time......fell asleep.

Work was cool yesterday. Left about 6pm to Camden Town for a Talib Kweli concert. The Beatnuts were the main support act and Taleb didn’t get on ‘til about 10.30pm but it was worth the wait. Man, that concert was off the ying yang. After about 2 songs some guy brushed past me on his way to the stage. It was frigging Mos Def, y’all! Mos friggin’ Def! Man, those guys on stage together were like Bogart and Bacall. Hey Bobby, what’s French for out-of-this-world chemistry? These guys live to perform. Man, I’m running outta adjectives to describe their performance. Their synergy was palpable. These guys are the real deal. No bling blinging, no I’ve been shot a hundred times and now I wear a bulletproof vest, just plain realness. Mos Def’s got star personality; the guy had the crowd in the palm of his hands. Now I understand why just over 50 years ago a guy with dark hair and a dodgy moustache could convince the Germans about the potential of the Aryan race. The right words in the wrong mouths have the power to captivate and wrongly influence a willing audience. No wonder parents talk about gangsta rappers being bad role models for their kids.

The Portugal v England game just ended. Now that’s what I call football. I thought the Portuguese played better overall and deserved to win the game. Ashley Cole was definitely the best player on the pitch. That’s what u get from a Gunner. Beckham? Abysmal throughout the tourney. He didn’t seem his old self. Same for Luis Figo. Is there something wrong with Real Madrid players? Too much money, maybe. Euro 2004 has been a heckuva tourney so far.

Yeah, did I tell u about the girls I saw when I last went out? Well, what I forgot to say was that I was KINDA involved with one of their friends. I probably saw her last a year ago. Thing is she had a boyfriend then, but I still made the choice to chill with her ‘cos she was fun……at first. I’m telling y’all this so u know what to do if u are in a similar situation. Here’s Tunde’s guide on how to survive a relationship with a girl already in a relationship:

1. Listen carefully. I know u’re thinking, “shouldn’t I always listen carefully to what people say?”, well, in this case, it’s kinda different. Listen carefully to what she says, I tell u! Especially listen carefully to what she says about her boyfriend ‘cos that’s what she’s gonna be like. This girl complained about her boyfriend being possessive, but she was exactly the same. After our first date I caught her checking the stored text messages on my phone. If u bump into some chick and she nags about her boyfriend being a thief go hide ur most prized possessions ‘cos she’s probably gonna steal them.
2. Win-win situation. She’s cheating on her boyfriend with u, so u have the upper hand. She has no right to complain if she sees u talking to another girl. I must warn u that that won’t stop her though.
3. Catch 22. If u begin to develop serious feelings for this girl, then u locked in a Catch 22 state. Do u like her enough to forget the fact that she’s cheating on some other guy, I mean what stops her from doing the same to u also? Or do u believe that u are someone special, the only person she’d ever cheat on her boyfriend with?
4. Self-defence classes. Hey, if u decide to mess with someone else’s girl then expect repercussions. If u don’t mind getting whupped by a bunch of guys then this life is for u. If u do mind however, then u better be a good liar or have multiple personalities.
5. Be ruthless. I once had this girl’s boyfriend call my phone. How did he get my number? I later found out he scanned her phone for recently dialled numbers that he didn’t recognise. The following is an excerpt of the conversation we had:
Girl’s boyfriend (calling from the girl’s phone): “Hello? Sorry, I just saw this number on my phone and can’t remember who this is.”
Me: “Well, maybe u’d delete the number from ur phone then.”
6. Life happens. Call it karma, call it life having a way of biting u in the ass, even sing “The Circle of Life” from The Lion King. What u do to others the same is gonna happen to u. If u can’t deal with this then tough. U can’t go messing around and then get all upset when ur other half does the same.

Okay, now that most of y’all detest me (for being real and telling things the way they are) I think it’s best to call it a night. This is what u get when u ask me to be less jovial.