Go Oranje!!!!!!!

Been a while, huh? Yeah, I've been real busy with work. Okay, okay, I lie. I’ve been watching the footie tourney and that’s basically taken all my time. Did y’all see the Croatia v England game last nite? Rooney’s awesome. Guess I’ll be forced to eat my words now. An amazing talent, that guy is. Apart from Rooney and one or two defenders the other England players haven’t wowed me. Since I’m an honorary Dutch I’m hoping the Oranje surprise me, though I ain’t keeping my hopes up.

Sticking to a sports theme I read the following headline today: Henman in mood to ‘go all the way’. U don’t say, so Tim Henman’s now ready to ‘go all the way’ and win a tennis Grand Slam? And the previous times he’s been playing, he didn’t wanna ‘go all the way’, huh? If I see one more ridiculous sports headline I’ll puke. Some British girl was knocked out of Wimbledon yesterday and the headline read Brave Janes is out. Brave?! She frigging lost a tennis match and that makes her brave?! Honestly, stuff like these drive peeps to commit murder.

Anyways, how have y’all been? The past week hasn’t been at all bad. Did my first service as a steward/usher in church. It was cool – didn’t do nada outrageous like proffer the offering plate and then quickly remove it while laffing my ass off. U know what, I might just be sane after all. Also went on an exquisite date on Friday evening. Went to a bar/restaurants recommended by a friend and since neither my date nor I had been to the place b4 I tried to reassure her that it’d be fun. Told her I don’t go to bars that often and I am not one of those people that frequent a place so much everyone knows their name. (FYI: The theme song to Cheers was playing in the background.) No sooner had the words come outta my mouth that I bumped into 7 girls that I hadn’t seen in ages. While hugging each one I kept apologising to my date that this doesn’t always happen every time I go out. Hopefully, she believed me.

Got home late last night and saw the MTV Movie Awards. Does anyone know who writes the lame ass jokes that presenters read from the teleprompter? Talk about an exercise in ennui. I’ve thought of some ways that stars can avoid embarrassing themselves with their lame ass jokes:

1. Stars should refuse to do ‘em jokes. U are famous, rich, probably good-looking, why do u need a bunch of kids high off their heads to validate u with their “u da mans” and “Demi Moore, u still fine even though u are 50 and u got ur plastic surgeon on speed-dials”. Tell the producers of the award show that u ain’t gonna show up if ur publicist isn’t allowed to read a statement before u appear on stage absolving u of any crap lines u might be asked to deliver. However, if the jokes are funny tell him/her u reserve the right to claim such jokes as ur own.
2. Make the stars pay for their ineptitude. If a star cannot deliver a joke properly, they’d be pelted with stuff ranging from rotten eggs and tomatoes to canned goods. That’d teach them for trying to milk cheap publicity outta a bunch of innocent kids.