Pray for Mr. Wiley's family

Yesterday, I read that one of my fav columnists Ralph Wiley died of heart complications. Times like these make one consider one’s existence and it brings to mind a passage from the Bible I read a few weeks ago: Many seek the ruler’s favour; but every man’s judgment comes from the Lord (Proverbs 29:26). The gist is God decides what goes and what doesn’t; He gives and takes away. Gonna miss Mr. Wiley. Please pray for those he left behind.

Man, don’t really feel like being humorous today, so gonna do what all my ex-girlfriends asked of me most of the time: be serious. Yep, there’s probably a blue moon outside. Hate to admit it but Femi’s wedding did get me thinking about marriage. Always told anyone who would listen that even though I mightn’t be a not-so-great boyfriend I’ll make a great husband. Paradox, u say? Well, that’s the story of my life mate. I’ll get to that later….or maybe some other time.

First, let me tell u about some stuff that made me laugh. Two nights ago, this girl told me about some guy who just started dating her friend. “He’s so romantic”, she said. “U should have seen the card he sent to my friend. The card was blank, and in it he wrote out their wedding invitation. Isn’t that just precious?” After wrenching my guts out and throwing them outta window she gave me time to relax b4 saying: “He really does care about her and has no ulterior motives”. Uh-huh, and J-Lo’s the greatest singer known to mankind. The sooner peeps realise stuff the better for all. I’d have mucha respect for this Leonardo DiCaprio wanna-be if he made his intentions known to the girl from the very beginning. Okay, okay, y’all must think I am hating on Leo-liar a bit 2 much. Maybe it’s ‘cos at various times in my life I’ve had to pay for the actions of similar Leo-crapos. In all honesty it’s not really Leo-tard’s fault; I blame the chicks that actually believe such drivel.

Peep this: I had this girlfriend who was happy with me and I was happy with her. One day she comes up to me and whispers in my ear those words I dread to hear: “so why don’t u cook for me?” This from a girl who loved take-outs as much as I did; this from a girl who couldn’t razzle up a meal out of bread and cheese; this from a girl who thought chickens were reared in supermarkets. As u can imagine I was shocked to hear this. When I put Sherlock Homeboy on the job I found out that she asked that ludicrous question ‘cos one of her close mates had just commenced on a relationship with a guy…….who PRETENDED he loves to cook!

The point is Leo-lite’s actions have a domino effect. A typical Leo-turd does loadsa Cosmopolitan quizzes thereby having the inside track on lying to women. A typical woman listens to what her friends say and secretly wants to outgun them. Why do u think most women get flowers delivered to the jobs, especially on Valentine’s day? Woe is the man that ‘surprises’ a woman with flowers at her home instead. My ex-girlfriend wasn’t bothered about my hitherto latent culinary skills until her mate boasted about “all the dishes her man makes for her”. Since the ‘question’, things just weren’t the same between us anymore. Sad, huh? Yeah, just in case y’all were wondering, yes, I did eventually cook for her. The food was so crap that she spent a week in the hospital and went down 2 dress sizes by the time she was released. Ironically, this action resulted in all her friends trying to get with me. Turns out they all wanted the recipe to my rapid weight loss diet.