Pippi Longstocking is coming into your world whether you like it or not
Hola peeps.
Had promised to tell y’all about field visit yesterday but skipped my mind in between typing and trying to shoo away lizards congregating on bathroom window screen. I am talking lizards here not geckos, and ‘cos the screen is torn in bits I am wary of lizards dropping on me while in the shower. Was so discombobulated the other night I closed the shower door to prevent lizards from creeping into room while in bed, and it only occurred to me the next morning that they are friggin’ lizards and by their nature can crawl on walls OVER the shower door. Duh. The lizards, man, they pissing me off. You see…nah lemme get to the topic of this blog entry before I get sidetracked again.
Yeah, so went to the field last month to see staff, particularly expats like poor Indian dude who’s been stuck there for over 100 days. 2-night trip turned into 10 nights as flights kept getting cancelled ‘cos on the day of travel the President banned domestic flights. As field location is an hour’s flight away from Juba and journey by road is untenable, I kept waiting for flights to be approved and got disappointed each time. Finally escaped on April 25th in the back of a cargo plane. Felt like a skinnier version of Vin Diesel in one of those XXX or F&F movies.
This trip was the first time I had seen the base camp constructed for staff and was mighty impressed. Good thing I ensured internet access was installed at the camp, else time there would have been more dreadful. It’s also good that I packed for a 5-day stay so didn’t have to launder clothes every other day - my Right-side Man (yes, this is now a thang so get used to it) senses musta prepared me ahead of time. However, electric toothbrush ran outta juice as didn’t take charger along. Guess Right-side Man’s powers are limited to just clothing, huh?
Man, being in the field took me back to days of boarding school and early career when I would spend ages on the R.I.G. and think nothing of it. Not sure I am equipped for that anymo’. My body now actively reacts against being deprived of home comforts like ready access to chocolate - finished large bag of M&Ms 4th night in ‘cos was so sure I’d leaving the next day - as evinced by not having doodle pangs for 5 straight days. When I did eventually go I did so twice that day and ‘cos bidet water pressure wasn’t strong enough, plus it was steaming hot for some reason, I ended up reverting to bog roll. That experience made me realize for probably the first time in my life how important left pinky finger is ‘cos while wiping butt I couldn’t help but wince, as applying pressure on bog roll in order to get a clean wipe hurt pinky so much I dreaded using the loo. Come to think of it, that musta been why I was so keen to risk a visit to The Darfurian once I returned from the field. Even sleeping was a problem as only time I slept comfortably was second night there and that’s probably ‘cos I expected to return to Juba upon waking up.
It wasn’t all bad though as got to catch up on reading, especially technical journals I had ignored for over a year, and emails. As there was no reading table in room, I mostly worked in bed with laptop balanced on outstretched legs. One time, I decided to go for a walk and it took ca 10secs for left testicle to drop. Felt like if a baby or someone without much strength had grazed balls and though it didn’t hurt much it left me disoriented for like a minute. Arrrgghhh, why is everything affecting left side of body? Guess now y’all understand why the name “Right-side Man” is here to stay.
Started and finished the novel I Am Thinking Of Ending Things and didn’t get it. Must find time to re-read it, hopefully soon, on a flight somewhere. Being out in the field brought back constant reminders of having not traveled in a while ‘cos ran outta miniature body lotion that I usually nick from hotels and was forced to reuse hotel slippers (that I also nick from hotels) even after they got filthy dirty.
Highlight of trip was watching South Sudanese colleague who was going stir crazy from being cooped up in the field longer than expected. After repeated flight cancellations I woke up one morning to find her blasting gospel music in her bid to convince God to get her back to Juba. Now I am not talking those modern gospel songs with hip-hop beats. No sirree. She treated our ear drums to Nigerian old school-aka Christian mother-no makeup wearing-gospel music. It seemed to work for a bit too as we were instructed to head to the airport but then half-way there, we got news the flight was cancelled. The next morning, she abandoned West Africa and went back to her roots by playing Dinka gospel songs. That didn’t work either, but it was oh soo entertaining to watch. At some point I couldn’t help but get in on the act by searching for ways to reverse the jinx of cancelled flights, so much so that regular, mundane stuff began taking on numinous qualities. For instance, was given the largest bar of bath soap ever on day I arrived and for a while I convinced myself wouldn’t leave the field until soap was finished, so actually considered chopping soap in half and soaking one part of it in water. #Sad
Had promised to tell y’all about field visit yesterday but skipped my mind in between typing and trying to shoo away lizards congregating on bathroom window screen. I am talking lizards here not geckos, and ‘cos the screen is torn in bits I am wary of lizards dropping on me while in the shower. Was so discombobulated the other night I closed the shower door to prevent lizards from creeping into room while in bed, and it only occurred to me the next morning that they are friggin’ lizards and by their nature can crawl on walls OVER the shower door. Duh. The lizards, man, they pissing me off. You see…nah lemme get to the topic of this blog entry before I get sidetracked again.
Yeah, so went to the field last month to see staff, particularly expats like poor Indian dude who’s been stuck there for over 100 days. 2-night trip turned into 10 nights as flights kept getting cancelled ‘cos on the day of travel the President banned domestic flights. As field location is an hour’s flight away from Juba and journey by road is untenable, I kept waiting for flights to be approved and got disappointed each time. Finally escaped on April 25th in the back of a cargo plane. Felt like a skinnier version of Vin Diesel in one of those XXX or F&F movies.
This trip was the first time I had seen the base camp constructed for staff and was mighty impressed. Good thing I ensured internet access was installed at the camp, else time there would have been more dreadful. It’s also good that I packed for a 5-day stay so didn’t have to launder clothes every other day - my Right-side Man (yes, this is now a thang so get used to it) senses musta prepared me ahead of time. However, electric toothbrush ran outta juice as didn’t take charger along. Guess Right-side Man’s powers are limited to just clothing, huh?
Man, being in the field took me back to days of boarding school and early career when I would spend ages on the R.I.G. and think nothing of it. Not sure I am equipped for that anymo’. My body now actively reacts against being deprived of home comforts like ready access to chocolate - finished large bag of M&Ms 4th night in ‘cos was so sure I’d leaving the next day - as evinced by not having doodle pangs for 5 straight days. When I did eventually go I did so twice that day and ‘cos bidet water pressure wasn’t strong enough, plus it was steaming hot for some reason, I ended up reverting to bog roll. That experience made me realize for probably the first time in my life how important left pinky finger is ‘cos while wiping butt I couldn’t help but wince, as applying pressure on bog roll in order to get a clean wipe hurt pinky so much I dreaded using the loo. Come to think of it, that musta been why I was so keen to risk a visit to The Darfurian once I returned from the field. Even sleeping was a problem as only time I slept comfortably was second night there and that’s probably ‘cos I expected to return to Juba upon waking up.
It wasn’t all bad though as got to catch up on reading, especially technical journals I had ignored for over a year, and emails. As there was no reading table in room, I mostly worked in bed with laptop balanced on outstretched legs. One time, I decided to go for a walk and it took ca 10secs for left testicle to drop. Felt like if a baby or someone without much strength had grazed balls and though it didn’t hurt much it left me disoriented for like a minute. Arrrgghhh, why is everything affecting left side of body? Guess now y’all understand why the name “Right-side Man” is here to stay.
Started and finished the novel I Am Thinking Of Ending Things and didn’t get it. Must find time to re-read it, hopefully soon, on a flight somewhere. Being out in the field brought back constant reminders of having not traveled in a while ‘cos ran outta miniature body lotion that I usually nick from hotels and was forced to reuse hotel slippers (that I also nick from hotels) even after they got filthy dirty.
Highlight of trip was watching South Sudanese colleague who was going stir crazy from being cooped up in the field longer than expected. After repeated flight cancellations I woke up one morning to find her blasting gospel music in her bid to convince God to get her back to Juba. Now I am not talking those modern gospel songs with hip-hop beats. No sirree. She treated our ear drums to Nigerian old school-aka Christian mother-no makeup wearing-gospel music. It seemed to work for a bit too as we were instructed to head to the airport but then half-way there, we got news the flight was cancelled. The next morning, she abandoned West Africa and went back to her roots by playing Dinka gospel songs. That didn’t work either, but it was oh soo entertaining to watch. At some point I couldn’t help but get in on the act by searching for ways to reverse the jinx of cancelled flights, so much so that regular, mundane stuff began taking on numinous qualities. For instance, was given the largest bar of bath soap ever on day I arrived and for a while I convinced myself wouldn’t leave the field until soap was finished, so actually considered chopping soap in half and soaking one part of it in water. #Sad
I finally stopped raging against the dying cancellation of
the (f)lights and settled into a routine of sleep, eat, work, eat, nap, work,
eat, sleep. One day the chef on board told us he was going to pick up foodstuff
flown in from Juba and that’s when we hit upon the idea of hitching a ride back
on the cargo plane. Long story short, a few calls were made, approvals from relevant
authorities obtained, and we were informed on morning of the 25th to
head to the airport. Waited 4 hours for plane to arrive and another 1.5hrs to
offload its contents but time went by fast. Even the lack of seat belts and sight
of pilot smoking in the cockpit didn’t bother me, just needed to get home.
Arrived in Juba at 715pm and hurried home before the 8pm curfew hit. Unpacked
and hopped in the shower. That’s when I noticed the lizards staring at me.
Aaarrggghhh.
These lizards have a set routine. Well, it began as one lizard
and noticed it last year. I’d wake up in the morning and it’d be gone, possibly
to its lizard office, and in the evening from 7pm it’d be back on bathroom
window screen chilling. Early this year I observed they had become two,
presumably the main squatter had offered to share his digs with his mate/colleague/partner/feel
free to fill in the blanks or strikethrough as your imagination allows.
After 10-night sojourn in the field I returned to find 3 of them, and one was a
redhead. Literally. One of those lizards with grey(?) bodies and a redhead had
joined in on the fun. So now I am thinking main lizard had invited his buddy to
stay over and now his buddy had invited along his ginger buddy. Having 3
lizards with the ability to easily crawl through the broken insect screen while
I shower was too much to handle. Tried to scare them away by soaking them with
my bidet hose but it didn’t work. The two plain lizards crawled to a spot outside
window where water couldn’t reach them, but that ginger punk absorbed the full
extent of the water pressure and seemed to relish rubbing my face in it. Now I get why people hate redheads. Yesterday, I informed
the caretaker of my apartment complex to replace the screen and she’s promised
to do it on Monday. Just before bed I, am somewhat ashamed to say this now,
directed insecticide mist towards the lizards while spraying it around room.
It’s currently 824pm and there’s been no sight of the lizards since yesterday.
Sob….I kinda miss them. Well, not the redhead.
Tot ziens and God bless.
Tot ziens and God bless.
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